Upon June 26, 2013 the Supreme Court hit down, as unconstitutional, the key supply of DOMA, the actual Defense of Marriage Take action. It also ignored a district court’s problem to California Prop eight, which had removed the rights of same-sex couples to get married to in the state. As one may expect, depending on which side of the issue you fall on, there is either rejoicing or consternation about the choices of the court and what this means to marriage as a whole.
Relationship has undergone many modifications over the ages. At once, women were seen as property that was transferred from father to hubby. Husbands held the upper hand in a relationship and could also decide that their spouse had been unfaithful, condemning her to death by simply stoning. Women usually lost all rights to their children if there was a divorce. Thankfully, on the centuries, women have gained many rights and the customs of marriage have changed too.
There is a lot handwringing about what same-sex marriage is going to do to the organization of marriage. I think that we shed something significant whenever we divide marriage in to straight unions and same-sex unions. Relationship is the combination of two people who choose to join together away from love. Instead of creating a separate between same-sex relationships and heterosexual relationships I hope that all individuals can learn from the actual love that exists among partners no matter their sexual orientation.
According to a May 22, 2013 article within the Atlantic Publication “The Gay Manual on Wedded Bliss” (see end of this article) researchers have discovered that same-sex marriages are in fact happier than heterosexual marriages. Instead of worrying about how the Supreme Courtroom rulings will negatively impact the “sanctity” of relationship we should turn to the examples of many same-sex couples and what they bring to this organization.
Same-sex couples are not burdened by the old sex stereotypes of female and male that straight couples often unconsciously drop prey to. Who works (or doesn’t), that cares for the kids, who does which particular chores are all available discussion in same-sex marriages. Couples must approach marriage in a manner that determines what works best for each partner and also the marriage as a whole instead of what society deems is appropriate for each gender according to centuries of routine.
During your stay on island is much more of a sense of egalitarianism in marriage nowadays, we still find that the actual share of the problem is often split based on gender functions. The Atlantic content states: “Though men are carrying mare like a domestic workload than in the past, women still bear the brunt of the second change. Among couples along with children, when both spouses work full-time, women do thirty-two hours a week of housework, day care, shopping, as well as other family-related assistance, compared with the actual 21 hours men put in. Men do more paid work-45 hours, compared with 40,- for women-but have more spare time: 31 hours, compared with 25 for women. ”
Within the research for their book “American Couples, Money, Work, Sex” Pepper Schwartz and Philip Blumstein of the University of Washington discovered that gay and lesbian couples tended to be fairer in their dealings with each other than straight couples. There is also more giving of food preparation, childrearing and chores than in straight couples.
Experts also discovered that in every couples, the individual with the greater income had more specialist and decision-making power. Lesbian couples experienced this less than straight couples. Both lesbian and straight couples experienced this less than homosexual couples.
Lesbian couples tended to get more power plays around who engages much more with the kids. But on the whole it had been discovered that another difference between straight and same-sex couples is the fact that both partners in same-sex marriages tended to engage with the kids together. Straight couples tended to engage together traditional gender roles along with women more involved than men. When they did parent jointly, it was found that these were more prone to work at cross-purposes. Lesbian mothers tended to be much more egalitarian and warmer towards each other and homosexual dads were much more egalitarian in the manner that they divided the chores necessary in childrearing.
An additional interesting finding was the fact that when there was a difference in same-sex marriages the actual partner that was annoyed tended to be viewed as less aggressive and domineering and the some other partner often experienced less fear and tension. There tended to be more affection, joy and humor in the way that the difficult issue has been addressed.
I am certainly not attempting to imply that almost all same-sex marriages are more than happy and even-handed or “better” than heterosexual unions, but I think that we can examine the actual findings in this article as well as in other research on the topic and learn new ways to engage in marital associations. Finding methods to communicate our needs, to co-parent, to find more balance within the power of money within a relationship almost all goes further to creating happy, healthful marriages. Don’t we all deserve to find out from each other and move the actual institution of marriage into the modern world?
If you would like some help in developing a loving, healthful relationship, please contact me to get a FREE OF CHARGE phone appointment. We can then decide how I may manage to assist you to as a relationship therapist. I can be reached at: 650 289-9972 or via email at catherine@catherine-morris. com